Too Funny!

The Lost Golf Ball

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five-iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally, the doctor asked him, “What happened to you?” “Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole; we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture. We went to look for them and while I was looking around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.”

“I walked over, lifted its tail and, sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it – stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt.”

“Still holding the cow’s tail up, I yelled to my wife, “Hey, this looks like yours!” I don’t remember much after that.”

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In other funny news, I received an email from a friend today that lives near the coast of South Carolina. Verbatim, this is what it said, “We are having earthquakes here. PLEASE stop shaking those boobs.”

Sorry – it cracked me up and I had to share!

Concert Bound

Wanted to tell you all that I’m sorry you have to work today and tomorrow. I’m off and heading to Charlotte for the concert!!! Whooo Hooooo!!!!! I’m not promising to be good…only to be good at it………..and don’t ask me what “it” is ’cause my lips are sealed and well, who can predict the future? Not me……

And yes I know, “Old School” but as I said in the last post, Aerosmith never grows old. As for Motley Crue – they were part of the package…..maybe I can sneak a few pictures of Tommy Lee in all his glory…… Yes I’m being facetious……well, maybe not….yeah, facetious……no, really, I am….

Why do girls like bad boys? We know they’re no good for us. I think I’m over my infatuation with them…..Boy was that a hard lesson to learn….anyway, another post for another day. Have a good one people!

Potpourri

Well, my Gamecocks pulled out a win Saturday – just barely. I swear, I thought we were going to have a good year this year but it seems we’re struggling at every game. I didn’t even mention the game last week here — we got CREAMED by Georgia. Creamed I tell you. Pathetic showing — of the team and our fans. (And thank you all you Georgia fans for not bringing it up in my comments this week – that was very kind of you!…. and just know that if you’re a Georgia fan and were at the game last week, not all Carolina fans are an ass or a poor sport.) Anyway, this week we played Wofford and although we were ahead at halftime 24-10 we rested and almost allowed them to come back and beat us. This is surely going to be a LONG season with our most worthy opponents ahead of us. Auburn, Florida, Tennesse, Clemson…..God help us.

Saturday was a good day in spite of the fact that we almost let Wofford squeak by, much fun was had at the Cookaboose tailgating and with a ton of friends. This week we face Florida Atlantic – let’s hope we can pull out a win this Saturday – because if we continue to play like we have the last several games we’re gonna get our butts handed to us on a silver platter by Auburn on the 28th.

In other news:

• I have a dentist appt in the morning – Ug. I hate — HATE — going to the dentist.
• A month from Tuesday will be my 32nd Birthday!
• Thursday I’m heading to Charlotte with a group of friends to see Aerosmith and Motley Crue in concert. I know, I know. “Old school” but who doesn’t love Aerosmith? One of the guys that works for me was asking off the other day for this coming Friday and I was doing a mental check to see who else was suppose to be off that day before I answered him. I realized it was me that was going to be off, laughed, and told he no problem – take the day. He and his counterpart were standing there and wanted to know where I was going since I was going to be out of the office and when I told them this concert they laughed and said “OLD SCHOOL!!” Then then went directly into singing their version of “Dr. Feelgood”. They’re only 24 or so and I’m a mere 31 but damn they made me feel OLD. Anyway, laugh if you want, Motley Crue I could do without, but Aerosmith never gets old. I’m sure I’ll have a blast…..afterall, it IS a girls trip so no matter where we’d be going I know we would have a great time.
• Did I mention that a month from Tuesday will be my Birthday? I did? Ok.

Hope you all have a Marvelous Monday!

Friendship

Self reflection and introspection have yielded me to contemplate friendships tonight. Many of us never really have more than a handful of true, meaningful, long-lasting, and deep friendships.
Know the kind of which I write?

They’re the ones that love you and care about you and walk with you through any trial or tribulation. They are the ones that know your innermost secrets, faults, the best & worst of you – and yet love you in spite of them all. True friends are the people you build unexplainable bonds with, confide in, and cherish. And true friendship is the bond when the ties between two people cannot be worn, where selfishness is nonexistent, and the emotion shared is an art of devotion.

I have a friend that has astounded me with his openness, candor, and non-judgmental, thoughtful, giving, caring ways. No matter the circumstance, no matter the issue, no matter what may come – he’s my friend. He loves me, cares for me, and I know he’ll always be there for me. Our unexplainable paths crossed and I’ve been blessed ever since.

There’s a saying that I came across not too long ago that reads,
“The Mile: People come into our lives and walk with us a mile, and then because of circumstance they only stay a while. They serve a need within the days that move so quickly by, and then are gone beyond our reach, we often wonder why. God only knows the reason that we meet and share a smile, why people come into our lives and walk with us a mile.”

To You: Sometimes a mile is all we need and are awarded……but I know, I’ve been handed something much more special than a mile, I’ve been given a journey. One that is sure to last much longer and is accompanied by the rarest of treasures. Thank YOU for simply being you.

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Friendship in its truest form is a gift. Take yours and cherish, love and continue to grow those bonds with the people you have been blessed with in your life to call “friend”. The truest ones are the rarest ones and as such should be cared for tenderly.

Hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday!

Tribute

Joanne Ahladiotis World Trade Center
Going all out, all the time

Joanne Ahladiotis never did anything halfway. She dressed impeccably and had her nails done once a week. She entertained regularly, making all the food herself. She took great pride in her small apartment in Forest Hills, Queens. “At Christmas,” said her sister, Effie Salloum, “she would decorate her apartment like it was Macy’s windows.”

Fluent in Greek, Ms. Ahladiotis, 27, traveled to Greece every two years to visit her grandmother, who lives in Crete, and returned home laden with gifts of icons, jewelry, books and cookies. In fact, Ms. Ahladiotis could scarcely go anywhere without buying presents for her family and friends. “If she was out shopping and she found something she liked but they didn’t have it in her size, she would buy it for me,” her sister said.

The week before she died, Ms. Ahladiotis, who worked for the eSpeed division of Cantor Fitzgerald, had to travel to Las Vegas on business. She invited her parents to accompany her. “It was the most beautiful week of my life,” said her mother, Eleni. “She was a very loving person.”

Profile published in THE NEW YORK TIMES on November 29, 2001.

While looking through the people that died in the heartwrenching tragedy of 9/11 I couldn’t get past this picture of Joanne and after reading a little about her I knew instantly she was someone I could relate to and most likely could have called friend. Beautiful, intelligent, & caring – she didn’t deserve to die that day. A mere 27 years old – her whole life before her – I can only imagine the fear and dread of what she might have gone through during the last moments of her life. Much love, prayer, and peace for her family & friends – May Joanne Rest In Peace.

Soo-Jin “Stuart” Lee World Trade Center
Always on the Move

A safari last year. Paris in May. Skiing in Chile in July. Did Stuart Lee ever sit still? Apparently not. On Sept. 10, in fact, he and his wife returned from a trip to Japan and his native Korea. Good thing he had a travel agent handy — his wife, Lynn Udbjorg.

“He loved the best of everything,” whether Champagne, Cuban cigars, or sushi, his wife said. (She had a sushi chef at his memorial service.)

For all Mr. Lee’s travels, New York was his favorite city — especially the neighborhood where they lived, the East Village, with all its diversity. “He always liked Scandies” — Scandinavians — said Ms. Udbjorg, a native of Norway. “And he ended up marrying one.”

After growing up in Vancouver, Canada, where his family moved when he was 6, Mr. Lee, 30, came to this country, later becoming a bond analyst and then a vice president at DataSynapse, a software company. On Sept. 11, jet lag and all, he was up early for a technology conference at the trade center.

An avid skier, he had long talked of going to Whistler, north of Vancouver, with a group of skiing pals. Now the others will do it. “This year we’re going for him,” his wife said.
Profile published in THE NEW YORK TIMES on December 1, 2001.

I’d like to think that I may have had the opportunity to meet Stuart, or Soo-Jin, and that we may have been able to network and maybe share in a technical conversation. Soo-Jin was attending the Information Technology conference being held on the 106th floor of the North Tower in the Windows on the World Restuarant — the same conference that I was invited to and contemplated attending. It would have been my first trip to NYC at the time and I remember talking to my boss about attending and deciding not to go. I still have the invitation to the conference in my desk drawer….I just can’t throw it away. Thankfully, my fate was not to be there on that tragic day. I was spared and I know that I have a purpose in this life that has yet to be fulfilled. But having found someone that DID attend and seeing a face with a name has brought back all those feelings I harbored that very day. Soo-Jin didn’t deserve to die that day either, none of them did. Many prayers and well wishes to his family and friends. May he Rest In Peace.

The Landscape of the Blogosphere

Times are changing around here.

Things don’t seem exactly right or normal (whatever normal is).

You see, I began this blog over a year ago and along the way (and pretty early on I might add) I came across a few people that I enjoyed reading for one reason or another. They all offered varying insights into things that just made you laugh or crack a smile even when you felt like you didn’t have a smile left in you. Some days the writings were funny, some heartfelt, some admittedly slightly off character at times, but always true to themselves and who they are/were as individuals.

In a way, as I’m sure many of you have found, there’s a kinship in the blogosphere and this medium allows you to get to know people you never would have had the opportunity to know otherwise. It affords you the opportunity to really see maybe a different culture, a different perspective, a varying climate – if you will – on an abundance of subjects. I believe that’s why I continue to blog and continue to read and interact with people I’ve met through this forum.

However, over the past several months, and most recently, the past week or so, several of my blogchums have called it quits. They put away their keyboard, closed their laptops, rested their fingers, and begun a new chapter in their life.

To Melissa aka Lady Bug – Always thought provoking, heartfelt, and you always made me want to spread my wings and fly. You were never afraid to take off on a journey and discover yourself. Keep soaring lady, you are tops in my book.

To the Queen aka Julie - Always hilariously funny. Always. And simply beautiful. You have that charisma that made everyone want to keep coming back no matter what you wrote about. You’re a wonderful mother and a terrific lady. I wish you well, your Pinkness. You deserve the best that this life has to offer.

To Rob – You weren’t around long, but you are the brother of a chick I came to refer to as my west coast twin – so how could I not like you??? An avid hockey fan, a devoted brother, and a techy geek! What’s not to like? Take care in all you do and keep your head up. The tech world welcomes fresh minds like yours to our field.

To Single Scorpio aka Marie – Gosh girl. You’ll never read this I’m sure because you’ve been gone for a couple of months now. I kept hoping against all hope that you would come back. So many similarities we shared that it was eerie. I know the career took off with your new job and things began to look upward for you. I’m as happy for you as anyone could be but I want you to know that I miss you, miss your writings, introspective nature, and witty remarks. Take care lady, you truly are a diamond in the rough.

To Techymike aka “Mikeh”…aka Mike - Poof. Vanished. Gone in a flash. Your blog that is. You alluded to the fact that it would happen, I just kept thinking “he’s joking – he’s such a riot and has such wit about him there’s no way he will just up and get outta here” but you did. I, of course, understand your reasons as well and even though you aren’t posting and keeping your blog going anymore I know you’re still lurking around out there. I see your hometown pop up in my stat counters every so often and I grin knowing that you’re still reading! Ha-ha! Hope you and your family are well and that life is treating you in grand fashion. Miss you dude!

And last, but certainly, not least, Chuck. No “aka” here – everyone in the blogosphere knows who “Chuck” is. I thought you were on your way to being a lifetimer in blogland, but alas, two years was all that could be. You of all people I understand for calling it quits. I know you’ve struggled with this decision for some time now and I know you’ll miss it, but at the end of the day our families are what are most important. You are dealing with a monumental situation right now and no one, although we all will miss you, can fault you for taking care of “home”. You are a hilariously funny guy with a heart the size of Texas — and although you tried to put up a front at times of who the real Chuck was, I know in my heart of hearts who you are & your “front” over at your place didn’t throw me. I know we’ll remain friends and stay in touch. I wish you well with this obstacle that’s been placed in front of you and I’ll keep you & your family in my thoughts and prayers.

As with anything, it’s difficult sometimes to lay things to rest and accept changes. I’m usually pretty optimistic about them though and resolve to believe that everything happens for a reason, everyone we meet serves a purpose, and change is the only constant in life. I wish them all the best in their lives and future endeavors and here’s to some great memories. Cheers, my friends!! You will be sorely missed.